TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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