Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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