i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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