It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
