he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
even my farts smell like vagina
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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