If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
