After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Randomize
