no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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