I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
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I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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