yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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