Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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