i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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