I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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