I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize