they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
