Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize