I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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