I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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