Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
