I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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