also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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