im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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