Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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