i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
