if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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