She's JV to your varsity
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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