no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
