I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize