i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize