I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
