I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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