finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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