Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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