I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
