Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
