are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
