Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize