if only i could text you this smell
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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