I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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