Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize