guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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