cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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