Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
