The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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