You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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