Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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