Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
