do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize