She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
