Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
