He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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