I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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