i think my mom watched the whole time
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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