i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
