omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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