Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
