He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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