That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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