she woke up with a sticky ear
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
