Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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