the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
