also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
