clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize